Girls Don't Love Girls
by Lesson Number One
Summary: "For a while Bella just laid there, holding Alice as the girl cried into her shoulder. Even if those tears were for another person, she only held the girl tighter because she knew that if she didn't, no one else would." [Bellice Endgame]
1. The Suburbs

**Song used for title: The Suburbs by Arcade Fire**

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><p><span>January 9th, 1994<span>

3:22 PM

Renee stared in disbelief at the multiple pregnancy tests she had splayed out on the sink, covering her mouth as she released a strangled gasp and her eyes welled with tears. It couldn't be. She couldn't be pregnant. She just couldn't bring a child into this world, fatherless with only a broken mother to carry the two of them. They deserved better than that, better than her. But what else did this mean? The nausea and fatigue could be due to the stress she was having since the divorce, however she was _late_. It could only mean one thing. When she and her husband -well now ex husband- had… that's right, goodbye sex, without limitations where they expressed their final unsaid words. How could she have been so careless, what was she thinking? That's it, she wasn't.

As she mused over how to go on about the situation, a morbid thought passed through her mind. Maybe she could… get rid of it. No, no, that was absurd. And besides it could have just been a false alarm, nothing certain. She hoped for that as she disposed of the pregnancy sticks in her trash bin and then exited the bathroom and hastily pulled on a jacket before heading downstairs and grabbing her car keys off of the kitchen counter. She'd have to see a professional to know for sure.

April 12th, 1994

2:05 PM

Renee Swan was indeed pregnant. Four months to be exact and she _hated_ it. She hated the sore heels and the looks she received every time she went out. The only perk was that since she and her ex husband had lived in Forks their whole lives meant that she knew everyone and assistance would always be given whether she needed someone to carry her grocery bags or an old friend to help make her dinner when she was far too exhausted. Still, she felt lonely and it seemed no one understood, perhaps for the reason that she couldn't find the words to explain.

That's why she had decided to attend child birth classes on Sundays since she couldn't bear to surround herself with the overbearing thoughts of what she'd do once this child was born. Vaguely she wished Charlie were there with her, to help her through whatever she was going through, but she knew she didn't want him, she just wanted _someone_ and the man had definitely made it clear he wanted nothing to do with their child, only agreeing to pay child support and nothing else.

So she sat on her purple yoga mat, legs crossed, wearing a maternity blue tank top and yoga pants and her hair tied into a loose bun. This had been her third time attending and she had come to appreciate that appearance hardly mattered to any of the other women. They all understood the inconvenience of pregnancy and could hardly care less about impressing everyone else with how they looked.

"Is this spot taken?" A gentle voice pulled her out of her musings and Renee looked up to see a woman with chest-nut colored hair and piercing blue eyes, seemingly in her late-twenties like herself. The woman was wearing a similar outfit aside from the fact that her tank top was pink. Her smile was welcoming and instantly warmed Renee's frozen interior.

"Of course not." Renee replied, scooting over a bit so the woman could lay down her mat, which was also pink. It didn't take much to realize the woman had a thing for the color.

"Thanks, this is my first class so I wasn't quite sure if someone else might sit here." The woman admitted sheepishly before taking a seat. Renee was already beginning to the like the woman. She seemed different than most of the people she had grown up with, better in a way and slowly she let her eyes travel down to the woman's stomach and… wow. The woman's stomach was huge, there seemed to be no other way to put it. It was as if she were to burst any second and Renee wondered if she would be giving birth right then and there.

"I'm six months." The woman answered the unasked question.

"A boy or girl?" Renee had found herself asking when her eyes met a piercing blue.

"A girl. I can hardly contain my excitement. Though I love my son to death, it's nice that we now have a matching set." She beamed at Renee, who suddenly felt self conscious. Would the woman think lowly of her for not having a husband too?

"So are you having a boy or a girl?" Renee was once again pulled away from her thoughts.

"A girl too." She revealed, absentmindedly placing a hand on her stomach. She could feel her unborn daughter kicking as she did so and a soft smile crept onto her lips. Despite the circumstances she had grown to love her unborn child, seeing as she was her only company and shared the same situation as she, though the child was unaware of it. On the nights where depression would take over, she'd lie in bed and place her hand to her stomach, whispering to her unborn infant.

"Perhaps our children could be friends?" The brunette flashed a grin. "And since we moved here from Mississippi two months back, I wouldn't mind a friend either; my husband actually suggested this class."

"Mississippi?! Why would you come _here_?" Renee hadn't meant for it to come out harshly, but most people moved from a place like that to escape. Not to end up in _Forks_ of all places. And was she really that out of sync with the town gossip that she failed to hear about a new family moving into town?

Noticing Renee's apologetic look, the woman quickly waved it off. "It's fine. My mother had harassed me about the same thing. I simply wanted a small town where my children could bond with people they'd know for the rest of their life and a co-worker of my husband's had come here once on business and mentioned how close everyone was and it just felt like the place to be."

"Everyone here is very close." Renee confirmed, nodding thoughtfully, trying not to count how many times the woman mentioned her husband in their conversation.

"Then I was correct. And may I know your name?" The woman questioned.

"Renee Swan." The brunette informed her. "And yours?"

"Eve Brandon."

July 21st, 1994

5:34 PM

Renee couldn't hold back the tears that slowly rolled down her cheeks as she held the young infant in her arms, smiling down at her lovingly. Her friend had come so far and it all had been almost halted when Eve had to have an emergency C-section only eight hour ago. But she was alive and well and this would be a story to be told in future years.

"What have you named her?" Renee asked quietly, not wanting to wake the newborn from her slumber.

"We finally settled on, Mary Alice Brandon." Eve's husband, William, informed her, beaming at the child in Renee's arms. Renee couldn't help but want to remember this moment forever. During the first month of their friendship, Renee had revealed to Eve about her divorce and the situation she had been left in. Eve was nothing but understanding and even revealed that her own mother had been single and hadn't remarried and she turned out absolutely fine. Eve was better than fine, she was the perfect friend, but of course Renee never said that aloud. It didn't need to be said.

September 13th, 1994

12:46 PM

Giving birth hadn't been an easy process for Renee, but then again it was the first time she had, but definitely the last as well. She promised herself that.

"Are you feeling better?" Eve asked, making her way into the hospital room with a bag full of concealed items. Renee suspected her friend's husband was at home taking care of the children in their mother's absence and Renee felt a tiny twinge of guilt. Friends had been stopping by to say congratulations along with bringing gifts and balloons, the whole nine yards. So as far as company went, she would be alright, but then again, this was her best friend, the woman who had given her a new sense of perspective towards life along with the ability to smile again.

"Other than the fact that I just gave birth to a child no more than seven hours ago, I'm just peachy." Renee chuckled.

"I can only imagine." Eve smirked, coming to a stop at Renee's bed side and setting the bag down.

"What's in the bag?" The brunette wondered.

"Since you'll have to be here for about another forty-eight hours, I just brought you a little kit to keep you sane," Eve winked. "But enough about that, how's little Isabella?" She asked as her eyes shifted down the infant. Renee had settled on the name: Isabella Marie Swan.

"She's just fine." Renee responded. Her gaze returned to her daughter, filled with a love she regretted questioning when she first discovered she was pregnant. "My little angel…" She whispered, kissing her baby's forehead as the infant blindly reached towards the familiar voice.

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><p><strong>AN: I have risen from the dead. Actually, I'm just back after... a long time of being away. I won't bore you with the details of self discovery and moving a lot, but just know, I'm a lot better than I was. I'm still on the fence about continuing Beauty and the Freak. I had so many plans for that story and for some reason, I just can't really motivate myself enough for it. Anyways, here's a new series I'm working on. Please tell me how you like it. I've been working on this one since before I went on hiatus. <strong>


	2. Dear Prudence

**Song used in chapter: Dear Prudence by the Beatles**

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><p><span>September 16th 2000 (Six years later)<span>

Bella/Alice: Age 6

7:22 AM

"Mommy, I don't want to go." Bella's words were delivered in a soft whine. She desperately gripped onto her mother's hand, anxiety evident with her surprisingly strong hold. She peered up at Renee through adorably long eye lashes, chocolate eyes pleading.

"Why not, sweetheart?" Renee kneeled down to her level, nothing but compassion in her voice. She rubbed her thumb against her daughter's hand soothingly in hopes of easing the tension that had suddenly taken over her daughter.

After moments of contemplating, Bella finally spoke the truth, leaning in to whisper in her mother's ear. It was something she always did when it came to secrets. No one took them as seriously as the young girl. "What if they make fun of me for not having a dad?"

Renee fought back down the tears that sprung in her eyes at her daughter's saddened tone. How could she have forgotten? Everyone they knew had a father. There was bound to be a time that Bella would begin to feel insecure that she didn't.

Forcing a tight, reassuring smile onto her face, she pulled away and placed both hands on the young girl's cheek, forcing Bella to look at her.

"If anyone does, I'm sure Alice will make them regret it." The girl tried to suppress the smile that spread across her face, which seemed to be in vain. Over the years, all had come to know the young raven-haired girl would do just about anything for Bella and vice versa.

As quick as the sadness came, it went and Bella was left beaming. Leaning forward again, she enveloped her mother into a tight, loving hug, pressing her cheek against Renee's. "I love you, Mommy." She said quietly, squeezing her tighter for emphasis. A stunned Renee managed to pull herself together in time to return the hug. Often she'd wonder if she was the mother Bella deserved and in moments like those, she'd just start to believe so.

"I love you too kiddo, now guess who's coming over." Renee had been peering over Bella's shoulder to see Alice and Eve approaching. And just like that Bella pulled away from her mother's arm and whirled around to see her best friend come bounding toward them.

"Hey Bella!" Alice beamed, running the short distance and hugging her best friend like there was no tomorrow. Another thing known about Alice was that she was a hugger, especially for Bella. The two were practically attached at the hip. Even in infancy, they were inseparable and would often cry without the company of the other. The two women had always admired the way the pair clicked, just as they, themselves, had.

"Alice wouldn't stop talking about Bella, even though they just saw each other last night." Eve informed Renee, moving to stand beside her friend and the duo peered down at the young pair that still continued to hold each other as if they hadn't seen each other for years.

"Bella was exactly the same." Renee sighed with faux annoyance, though she found it all to be rather adorable. By Eve's expression, the other woman felt the same way.

7:30 AM

The Kindergartners spilled into their classroom, all buzzing with a mixture of both excitement and anxiety. Most of them hadn't spent more than a couple of hours away from their parents and now they were expected to spend nearly seven hours from home, aside from Angela Weber, whose mother was the teacher. The adjustment would certainly take some time for the others.

The time seemed as if it'd last for an eternity when Alice and Bella -who Mrs. Weber was fully aware were attached at the hip- were instructed to sit where their name tags had been placed. The two girls had both been placed on opposite sides of the room, which may have well have been a distance greater than the one between Earth and the Sun.

While Alice found herself placed next to a blonde haired boy, with a friendly smile and a Southern accent, Bella wasn't as lucky. She ended up right next to Mike Newton, whose breath always smelled like peanut butter and tuna when he spoke. She scooted her chair as far as acceptably possible.

"Alright class, I'd like for you to tell the person next to you your name, then something about yourself that no one else knows." The teacher instructed, glancing amongst the students with a pleasant grin.

After that, everyone -save for Bella- turned in their seats and promptly began to enthusiastically tell their partners about themselves. Alice learned that her partner's name was Jasper and he had a twin named Rosalie. Bella learned that if given the chance, Mike Newton wouldn't hesitate to talk your ear off.

2:36 PM

"Why do you keep laughing?" Bella huffed in frustration. Renee and Eve had decided to take Bella and Alice out for ice cream in celebration of their first day of school. The young pair sat beside each other as their mothers looked on in amusement, eating spoonfuls of their individual bowls of ice cream.

"Because of that." Alice pointed a dainty figure to Bella's cheek which happened to have a small amount of ice cream on it.

"What?" Bella asked, looking down to try and see.

"_That_." Alice leaned forward to peck Bella's cheek and effectively removed the remnants. Pulling away, she beamed brightly at a flushed Bella.

"_Alice_." Bella said in a chastising tone. To her kissing was still disgusting, especially when they were both girls and she had heard her grandma say God didn't like that. "You're not supposed to kiss me."

The two mothers watched the scene silently, eyes flickering to the other, both containing a sense of nervousness. Eve saw no reason to chastise the girl's behavior since she was open minded towards love and the same was said for Renee, but the two hadn't addressed this and were anxious to see how the other would respond.

"What? Mommy says two princesses can kiss too." Alice said innocently, seeing no issue with kissing Bella, especially like that.

"They can?" Bella turned to ask her mother. Renee smile and nodded, "Of course they can, sweetheart." Eve smiled thoughtfully over at her friend.

Bella seemed to think it over before nodding firmly, as if _she _had been the one to confirm _their _question. That was the bliss of childhood innocence. Everything was okay until someone said it wasn't.

"That makes you my princess then." Alice smiled and Bella smiled right back. Mustering enough courage, the young brunette leaned forward to place a kiss on Alice's cheek. "And you can be my princess too."

3:24 PM

Alice and Bella had both fallen asleep nearly as soon as they all got into Renee's car; their hands were intertwined of course.

"So you and Phil guy seemed to hit it off…" Eve started and the other woman rolled her eyes. Renee knew that as soon as she began flirting with the single father at the ice cream shop that Eve would have something to say about it.

"Maybe we did." Renee smirked, eyes still focused ahead. "He has a daughter a year younger than Bella actually and he's divorced as well."

"Sounds like a match made in heaven." Eve laughed.

"Who knows, maybe it is," Renee shrugged. "For all I know, I could end up marrying this man."

"Already talking about marriage? You've definitely been watching too much of _How I Met Your Mother_."

"And whose fault is that?" Renee shot back, unable to shield her grin.

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><p><strong>AN: A little time lapse in this chapter. Also, I didn't feel like writing Renee and Phil meeting. I did in the other version, but I was far to lazy to do it again in this one. So know it was very cliche and hetero. <strong>


	3. Tighten Up

**Song used for title: Tighten Up by The Black Keys**

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><p><span>AliceBella: Age 13

September 6th, 2008 (8 years later)

7:29 AM

Unlike any other school year, Bella had been genuinely excited for this one. Things were going great. Her mother had married Phil the summer of her second grade, and with their marriage she gained Bree as her step sister.

So when the children filed into the eighth grade classroom, she was smiling because life was good and she was excited for the start of a new year where she assumed things would only get better. Of course, she was horribly mistaken.

"Class, may I have your attention?" Ms. Bell called from the front once all of her students were situated at their desks. Beside her stood a young man, with hazel eyes and bronze colored hair that somehow looked both untamable and styled at the same time. He wore a simple black polo and a pair of Levi jeans. Bella was honestly shocked she didn't find him the slightest bit attractive.

"This is Edward Masen."

Various girls shifted forward in their seats, as if that'd give them a better viewing.

"He just moved here from…"

"Illinois," was a quiet response from Edward.

"Yes well, I expect you all to treat him well and not exclude him though I'm sure all of you know one another. It never hurts to make a new friend," the teacher informed them.

And that was a definite friend most of the girls wanted to make.

Therefore when the teacher handed them a survey and told them to find a partner to learn more about, she immediately wanted to claim Alice as hers, but Edward seemed to the only person on her friends mind. She asked the boy before Bella could even get out of her seat. With a sour mood Bella headed over to Jasper and the two sat together at unoccupied desks where Bella glared down at the sheet of paper.

"You jealous of Alice or something?" Jasper asked, filling out most of the sheet without even having to ask a single question because they knew each other that well.

"No! I don't even understand why all of them think he's so appealing." Bella murmured, although she was unaware that was in fact jealous, just not of Alice. She then chose to start to read over some of the questions as a distraction. "And your favorite dessert is blueberry cheesecake right?"

"No! Its _strawberry_ cheesecake, you hardly know me at all!" Jasper exclaimed, ducking his head when the teacher scolded him to lower his voice.

After a moment of silence he spoke again, "Anyway, I don't either. He has douche written all over him." Jasper told her.

"What's a douche?" Bella asked, shifting in her chair to look at Jasper questioningly.

"Look it up." Jasper mumbled, peering over at his friend's paper. "You only filled out three! You really don't know m- I know, I know sorry Ms. Bell, I'll keep it down." Jasper ducked his head again from the teacher's glare, sending one of his own towards his friend's way. Bella was hardly paying attention however and her eyes were glued to the back of her best friend's head that seemed oblivious to the attention, but not Edward who turned to lock his eyes with the brunette. Edward smiled politely and gave a subtle nod before speaking with Alice once more, getting closer than before. Bella had tried not to let it bother her, but deep down she was fuming.

[-]

It wasn't until lunch time that Bella finally spoke to Edward. Jasper and Bella were in heated debate about _Battlefield: Bad Company _when someone had taken the seat just next to Bella. When she looked over, her eyes went narrowed when she saw Edward beside her. After a moment passed and the girl hadn't ceased her staring, the boy glanced up.

"Was this seat taken?" He asked, though he showed no sign of getting up.

"Sort of, actually." Bella gritted out.

"Oh." Edward merely said, peering into his sack lunch and pulling out an apple.

"Douche…" She said beneath her breath, forcing her attention back to Jasper who was looking between them both inquisitively. Even Rose who was sitting across the table had stopped what she was doing to stare. An oblivious Alice took a seat beside the blonde girl, looking at her friends skeptically, though her attention was quickly drawn elsewhere when she realized who else was sitting with them.

"So Edward, why'd you move here?"

"My dad's family was from here so when I got older he decided to move back I guess." He drawled, as if it hardly fazed him. It wouldn't have bothered her as much if Alice didn't look like she was literally hanging onto every word.

"So what does your dad do?" Alice inquired.

"He works at the bank." He said smoothly. "You?"

"My dad works at the mental hospital." Alice replied quietly.

Bella took that as a sign of embarrassment- correction, she _knew _Alice was embarrassed, but Bella thought what her father did was admirable. He helped people.

"Really? That's so weird." He let out a chuckle, as if her father's job was _amusing instead of _well respected.

"You want to go get a drink with me?" Bella asked Jasper, unable to tolerate Edward's behavior any longer.

"Yeah let's go."

They both stood and headed back toward the cafeteria area, Bella unaware of the way Alice's eyes followed her all the way.

[-]

When they returned Bella was upset to see Alice and Edward indulging in a conversation and by the looks of it, she was actually enjoying speaking to him and it surely didn't look as awkward as before.

And in her absence, Alice had taken her spot and Bella was forced to sit on her opposite with Jasper next to her. As she modestly listened to their conversation, she couldn't help but feel jealous that she wasn't the one Alice was speaking to. But then again, why was she jealous? They had been best friends for years and nothing would change that. Right?

_Right?_

June 6th, 2008 

12:49 PM

_Wrong._

Bella and her friends just had their eighth grade promotion and stood outside while their parents gushed and took pictures of them separately and together, herding them like sheep. Bella couldn't find herself a genuine smile throughout it all because out of the corner of her eye she saw Alice and Edward talking to one another excitedly, grinning as if they had won the gold medal. She wanted Alice to smile at her the way, to gush over how far they had come, but the past year hadn't allowed that to happen. As soon as Edward set his sights on the girl, she was his and Bella knew that. She just wished it wasn't true.

Throughout the year, Edward went out of his way to make the girl blush with that crooked grin and charismatic nature while Bella could only make her laugh, but that was easy. She was the class clown after all, though she had only been given that title because of how awkward she was.

For the span of the year she was troubled by her feelings for Alice. Some days she admitted to herself that she liked the girl, but it felt wrong somehow. It wasn't that she couldn't imagine them together like a real couple; it was frightening that she could. Of course two girls liking one another wasn't an issue –Renee made sure to have an open minded home environment–, it was just a whole different spectrum when there was a possibility that she could be _that_ girl.

That's why it seemed easier to stay friends with Alice as she continuously lied to herself. Still it never felt like enough, Edward had Alice's heart and all she had was her friendship.

So when their parents told them to stand together, Bella stood between Jasper and Rose and smiled as if there was nothing wrong and that she wasn't in love with Alice and that the girl's heart didn't belong to Edward. Even if that was all a lie, it gave her a temporary smile.

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><p><strong>AN: Last chapter before it skips to them being older. <strong>


	4. Young Blood

**Song used for title: Young Blood by The Naked and Famous**

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><p><span>June 15th, 2012: Summer before senior year<span>

12:34 PM

Bella was interrupted from lounging on the couch, watching _Malcolm in the Middle _reruns when she heard the door bell ring. Her first instinct had been to tell someone to get the door, but then recalled that her parents had left to take Appa -their dog named during Bree's obsession to _ATLA_- to the park.

With an exaggerated sigh she got up from the couch and made her way over to the door where the person on the other side had begun excessively ringing the doorbell.

"What?!" She shouted, yanking the door open to come face to face with her four friends.

"Manners." Rosalie muttered, pushing past her.

"What do you guys want?" She got straight to the point. Unlike her friends, she was the typical home body and preferred staying home over social interaction.

"We're going to La Push. When I went fishing with my dad a while back I saw these people diving. I want to give it a try." Edward grinned as they filed in.

"What happened to relaxing at home and just enjoying the fact that we don't have school?" Bella whined. They had just gotten out of school on the sixth after final exams. She was looking forward to some casual relaxing with no more school to worry about.

"Because, unlike you, we're not antisocial hermits," Jasper pointed out and Bella made a move to protest before she shut her mouth and nodded with a shrug. He had her there.

"Then why not go without me?" Bella hopped back on the couch, laying down on it with her hands clasped on top of her stomach. Rosalie swatted at her feet and she was forced into a sitting position so that the blonde and her brother could sit beside her. The other two took a seat on the opposite couch.

"If you're not there Jasper and Rosalie will probably fight because you're sort of like their mediator, plus it'll be much more fun, so _please_ go with us." Alice begged, clasping her hands together pleadingly. Bella caved whether she liked it or not. Without knowing in, Alice was her kryptonite. Even if they had been trying to convince her to go sky diving without a parachute, her request would have been enough to lead Bella willingly to her own death.

"Fine I'll go. Let me go put on a swim suit." Bella got up from the couch, not missing the knowing look Jasper and Rosalie gave each other. She'd get them back later. Thankfully Edward and Alice didn't notice, they were too busy looking at her expectantly.

"Be down in five minutes." She grumbled, climbing up the stairs and headed into her room down the hall. Fishing through her drawers, she found a pair of blue board shorts and matching bikini top. She stripped her clothes of, exchanging them for the new attire before slipping her shirt back on. After that she picked up her phone and keys, getting a towel from the hall closet before she headed back downstairs.

"She was down before five minutes! Rose you should take notes from her!" Jasper hollered, earning a hard punch to his shoulder from the pestered blonde.

"At least I didn't take as long as Alice." She muttered.

"Hey! I wanted to find a decent bikini to wear." Alice shot back.

Bikini? Bella's mind immediately began to picture what it must look like. What the color it was, how well it clung-

"Earth to Bella, we're leaving." Rosalie waved a hand in front of her friend's face, well aware of what her friend was probably thinking about.

"Okay!" She swatted her friend's hand out of her face, shooing them all out and following them out before turning around to lock the door. She quickly sent a text to her mother, telling her she'd be at the La Push beach before she jogged to catch up with her friends and they all piled into Edward's Volvo.

[-]

"You guys here to go diving?" Some of La Push's local teenagers approached Bella and her friends. Edward nodded, grinning excitedly. Among the group were three shirtless guys and one girl in a black bikini that Bella couldn't help but appreciate until she noticed the girl watching her and averted her eyes elsewhere.

"Us too, I'm Jacob by the way, but you can call me Jake and this is Quil, Embry, and Leah." Jake pointed to each person with their respected name and Bella's pack offered smiles or small waves in acknowledgement, telling the other's their names as well.

Now that she thought about it, she could faintly remember seeing them around before.

"You guys were out here before right? I saw a group of people diving a while back." Edward informed them and Jake nodded.

"Yeah, we do this a lot actually, nothing much else to do really and it's pretty fun. And are you guys sure you guys want to jump from this high? Most newcomers jump from ten feet, not the twenties," Jake enlightened them.

"We're sure." Edward smirked confidently and everyone let their gaze go to the water. Meanwhile Bella had been trying not to let her eyes stray down to observe the purple polka-dotted bikini Alice was wearing, which had proven to be very difficult and she chose to direct her attention somewhere else.

"So who's going first?" Bella asked, peering over the cliff side where they'd soon be diving over. She had been hoping someone would volunteer since there was no way in hell she would go first willingly. When she heard no response she turned around to see everyone had backed away with their index finger on the tip of their nose, grinning triumphantly.

"That doesn't count!" Bella exclaimed.

"Nope, rules are rules. You go first unless you're a… chicken." Edward smirked and Alice fake gasped, covering her mouth. She rolled her eyes at the show, turning back to look down at the tides gently crashing into the cliff side before pulling back to repeat the same cycle. Bella gulped before looking back at her friend.

"I'm not chicken; I simply just don't want to die." Bella indicated.

"No one wants to die a virgin." Rose said in mock sadness.

"Such a tragedy." Jasper snickered.

That got her into gear as the heat crept up the back of her neck at Rosalie's blunt revelation.

Without another word she flipped them all off, backing up and failing to notice the way Alice's eyes flickered over her toned stomach momentarily. Letting out a shaky breath, she broke into a run and leapt off the cliff with as much force she could muster.

"Fuck!" She shouted as she dropped through the air at an increasing speed, making a not-so-dignified whimper just before hitting the water and allowed the water to pass her as she sank deeper. Due to her need for oxygen, she kicked up swimming to the surface and gasping for air once she reached it.

"The virgin lives!" Jasper bellowed, causing it to echo.

"You're one too!" Bella shouted back. "And would any of you cowards care to join me?"

"I'll show you a coward!" Jake shouted, launching off the cliff and popped back up to the surface moments later, smiling wildly. Bella could already tell she would enjoy having a free-spirited guy like Jake around.

"Come on guys! The water's fine!" Bella called up to her friends and Jasper went next. Briefly she wondered why Edward hadn't volunteered to go next, but judging by how excited he had been, Bella assumed her friend probably wanted to be the grand finale. He was a bit of a show off after all.

"I'm definitely doing that again," Jasper grinned, slicking his hair back and smiling up at the cliff side. After that, Jake's friends, Quil and Embry went at the same time, impressing everyone when they did a front flip.

"Looks like it's just the girls… and Rose." Jasper yelled.

'_Uh oh_.' Bella thought.

Just as she predicted, Rosalie launched herself off the cliff at the speed she specifically used when she had someone in her sights and once again it happened to be Jasper.

Even Edward didn't seem as infuriated as her and everyone instinctively swam back when they spotted her expression as she rose back up to the surface and started swimming towards her brother at full speed. The boy shrieked, swimming back to the shore with a very pissed off blonde hot on his tail.

Jasper didn't stand a chance. Rosalie was the swim captain. Water was her element.

"Should we go help them?" Jake asked worriedly.

"Nah, they do that all the time." Bella waved it off, not even giving her friends a backwards glance.

The next to go was Leah with Alice following soon after. They all laughed loudly when Alice shrieked just before colliding with the water. Bella quickly swam over to check on her though she knew she was alright. After a few seconds Alice came up and her usually spiky hair clung to the contours of her face.

"Not bad short stuff," Bella grinned, floating onto her back with ease.

"I'm fun-sized!" Alice shot back, dipping below the surface once more and yanking Bella's leg so she'd go down as well. When they both came up for air again they were laughing hysterically.

"Remind me never to call you short while we're swimming," Bella teased.

"Or you could just stop calling me short in general," she shot back.

"Ah the daily short jokes are but all I live for," Bella said sarcastically.

"Then I'll make it my duty to make sure you aren't living," she threatened playfully.

"Ohhh bring it shrim- ah!" Bella covered her face with both hands when Alice cut her off with a splash. "You're going to pay for that-"Bella was cut off again when Edward called for their attention.

"Hey babe! Watch this!" Edward called from above, wanting the spot light back on him. Bella had to resist the urge to roll her eyes and the duo swam back a bit so the impact of the splash wouldn't be too much.

They all watched Edward launch into the air, doing a front flip gracefully and possibly even putting Embry and Quil to shame. Of course Bella didn't admit to being impressed just out of sheer jealousy, something she wouldn't admit to either.

"That was amazing!" Alice called aloud to her boyfriend once he came up for a breath. She wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek affectionately and Edward decided that wasn't enough, clashing their lips together.

Alice was modest enough not to start a full on make out session in front of everyone, but Edward hardly cared, initiating one every chance he got. Bella assumed it was his friend's way of reminding everyone that he had been the one to win Alice Brandon, but they needed no reminder. The two had to be in some way touching one another constantly, which never ceased to piss Bella the hell off.

"Mind cooling it you two? You might accidentally impregnate the sea, Eddy." Bella joked, but she in all honestly would puke if she had to see them any longer. She had already admitted to herself long ago that was undeniably in love with Alice, no need to torture herself further.

The couple's lips separated with a smack and Alice gave her a coy smile while Edward's eyes narrowed. She rolled her eyes at her friend, turning around and swimming back toward the shore and everyone soon followed suit.

"Rose if you hold his face down any longer, he'll choke on the sand." Bella told her friend, walking over to a face down squirming Jasper with a Rosalie straddling his back with hands behind his head to ensure it remained buried.

"Maybe that's my intention." she smiled devilishly, giving her brother's head one last push before letting up and moved to stand beside Bella, looking down at her work.

"Rose I couldn't breathe!" Jasper exclaimed, clutching his chest with a face covered in sand and his eyes sealed shut to prevent any from getting into his eyes. Alice, having been the most merciful of the group got a towel from her beach bag and made her way back over to Jasper, wiping off the particles of sand from around his eyes. It made Bella kind of wish she had been the one to get a face full of sand, regardless of how pathetic that sounded.

"Don't be so dramatic about it princess." Edward sneered and even Alice shot him a warning look.

Jasper's sexuality was still a soft subject for the blonde haired boy and that particular jab hadn't helped. While Bella had figured out she was lesbian freshman year, Jasper had only come to terms with the fact that he was also attracted to men mid-junior year.

"You know what-"

Bella cut off Jasper's soon-to-be rant by putting a hand to his chest to hold him back when he took an offensive step forward. He looked down at her with a scorching glare, but she only shook her head. Edward wasn't worth it, he knew that.

With a huff, Jasper took the towel from Alice with a strained 'thank you' before walking away and plopping down on a nearby bench. When Bella turned to get her own towel, her eyes bored into Edward's with something swimming beneath the surface that could only be described as suppressed rage. The boy had enough decency to at least act guilty as he shuffled from one foot to the other uncomfortably. Somewhat satisfied, Bella wrapped the towel around her body and went to go take the seat beside her friend.

Silence.

It was silent for a long time and neither of them spoke for the fear that they might explode. But after a long moment of collecting himself, Jasper finally spoke.

"Why are we friends with that guy again?"

"Because we just are." That was the only answer Bella could come up with. She had no idea why to be quite honest.

"That's hardly an answer."

"Whatever the reason may be, it seems like we're stuck with him now."

"I know, don't remind me. I'll probably know that prick until I die."

That earned a chuckle from Bella. Most friends would've been stuck up for the other, but neither of them really liked Edward, which brought up the question: Why _was_ she friends with him? The boy had always looked down on her for some odd reason, like he could treat her whatever way he liked.

She knew their clique of friends was a part of the reason since there'd be a possibility of them all splitting up, and then it hit her. _Alice_. She knew that if she were to stray away from the boy, Edward would be the one Alice would choose and they'd hardly see one another. Even if the boy was a complete and utter prick, Alice was faithful to him, which Bella found admirable and hoped to find in someone one day. Though this was unlikely, there was no doubt in her mind that she'd always want Alice, but she could pretend.

"When did our life become such a soap opera?" Bella groaned, leaning back and staring upward at the clouds.

"I don't know, probably around the time Edward entered our lives." Jasper said, looking over at the male. Bella turned her head to the side to follow his line of vision. When she watched Edward wrap his arms around Alice's waist and lean down to kiss her cheek before he locked eyes with Bella, she was pretty sure Jasper was right.


	5. Down to the Market

**Fun fact: The date below lands right on my birthday, unintentional yes, but amazing nonetheless. Also, I may have to slow down with the posting since I've only written up to chapter eight, which is unfinished.**

**Song used for chapter: Down to the Market by The Kooks**

* * *

><p><span>June 19th, 2012: The Day before Edward's Birthday<span>

2:16 PM 

"Why do I have to wear a dress?" Bella whined. Alice and Rosalie had taken her to Port Angeles, leaving her under the impression that they'd be going to book store, only for her to find out later that she'd be taking part in a day full of shopping.

"_Because_, it's Edward's eighteenth birthday, it should be special, which means your usual bum-wear simply won't do." Alice informed her, shoving yet another dress into her hands to which Bella glared down at.

"I could just wear a suit.' Bella offered playfully.

"Are you Ellen DeGeneres?" Rosalie asked sarcastically.

"You know; if I hadn't known you all my life I'd consider that highly offensive." Bella replied, slipping into an unoccupied dressing room when she realized fighting was a lost cause.

When they left the store later on, that ended up being the dress Bella purchased.

[-]

"Rose… I realize that Barbies aren't required to eat, but if there isn't something in my stomach in the next ten minutes I'm going to cause a scene." Bella complained, waving the multiple bags in her hand for emphasis. When they wouldn't drag the guys along, Bella would always be the replacement bag carrier.

"Do you ever stop complaining?" Rosalie drawled from ahead of Bella. Alice placed her hand on her starving friend's shoulder sympathetically. She knew how much her friend despised shopping, but she was closer to the brunette than she was the blonde, hence why she always brought up bringing Bella. Otherwise the girl would've probably been at home enjoying her Friday instead of in complete torture. And to Alice's benefit, the request found her an opening to speak with Bella alone.

"If you don't mind going to the next store without us both, can I go with her? I'm kind of hungry too." Alice lied.

"Fine whatever; just don't get mistaken as lost. With your height someone might mistake you for an elementary schooler." Rose cracked, looking over her shoulder to see if she had gotten a rise out of the raven-haired girl, but to her surprise Alice was already tugging Bella off into the opposite direction.

'I wish she'd stop being so clueless,' Rosalie thought.

[-]

"Welcome to Pretzels' Speckle, how may I help you?" A girl asked from across the counter. She looked as if she were in college with long blonde hair tied into a ponytail beneath the company's hat with full focus on Bella with those hazel eyes of her.

"Um may I have two regular pretzels and large lemonade?" You'd think after ordering the same thing about a dozen time Bella could say the simple request with an 'um' or pausing, but no. She always did anyways and she never quite knew why.

And since they had run out, Bella had to stick around until fresh pretzels were made, which the girl on the opposite side of the counter seemed to be delighted about.

"So those two were for you and…" The unknown girl wondered; biting her lip as her eyes darted around.

"My friend," Bella informed her, though she had no clue why that mattered.

"Oh," the girl nodded. "Well my name's Jennifer. What's yours?"

"I'm uh Bella." The way she said it was kind of pathetic, like she was partly unsure of whether or not that was her real name.

"That's a cute bracelet by the way," Jennifer mentioned, nodding down.

That's when things sort of click. She was wearing a black bracelet with the word 'Pride' with each individual color of the rainbow. The girl must've seen it when she approached, which only meant either a) Bella was really clueless or b) Jennifer was awful at flirting. Perhaps both.

'Think fast Bella, think fast.'

"Is the food ready yet?" she asked suddenly. Jennifer's eyebrows furrowed, her lips turning into a subtle pout before she turned to look at the oven. Right on time the oven dinged.

'Saved by the bell.'

Bella kind of felt bad for the way she responded. There had been a girl flirting with her and her only response was to see if her food was done. Either way it seemed the girl got her message. Bella just hoped the girl wouldn't spit in her food. That wouldn't be very nice.

[-]

"That girl totally hit on me," Bella said as soon as she took her seat, handing Alice her pretzel. Bella moved the lemonade to the center of the table since this was another thing she had done dozens of times. The two of them never seemed to be able to finish their own drinks, hence why they settled on sharing a large. She didn't even like pretzels that much if she was to be honest, but Alice did resulting in her buying them every time.

"What did you say?" Alice questioned, her eyes flickering to the girl at the counter before returning to her best friend.

"I was actually not so subtle in telling her I wasn't interested." Bella chuckled, munching on the pretzel.

Alice didn't know why, but she felt utter joy that Bella hardly batted an eyelash toward the girl's advances.

"And why is that?" The girl found herself asking. She was curious about Bella; the girl definitely had chances of being with others throughout the years yet she remained single. It always left Alice befuddled but she never asked why until then.

"They're just not the one I guess." Bella said to Alice, an odd glint in her eye before the brunette's eyes shifted away.

"If you keep thinking like that you'll probably end up waiting forever." Alice said in a mildly playful tone.

"I'm alright with that." Bella's eyes snapped back to her as chocolate bore into chocolate; speaking a depth that couldn't be voiced nor could Alice decipher… at the moment at least.

Alice coughed awkwardly reaching for the lemonade and taking a long sip before setting it back down and returning her gaze back to her best friend.

"To be honest I wasn't even hungry." Alice gestured to the uneaten pretzel. "I just needed to talk to someone about this."

"About what?" Bella pressed with concern; placing a hand on Alice's that rested on the table. Alice smiled at her friend's actions that she seemed to do so thoughtlessly.

"Well, it's about… Edward." Alice's face flushed just at the thought of what she was about to say. Bella's hand immediately retracted.

"What did he do?" Bella failed to keep the sound of urgency and anger from her voice.

"Nothing Bella, calm down." Alice giggled, sliding her hand on top of Bella's and forming calming circles on the back of her friend's hand. "It's just that…" She had no idea how to approach the topic.

"It's alright, you don't have to say it if you don't want to…" Bella took another bite of her pretzel.

"Edward wants to have sex." Alice blurted; forcing Bella into an intense chocking fit. The girl reached over the table to try and pat her friend's back. After roughly swallowing the offending food and a moment of collecting herself, Bella still was in no state to form a coherent response.

"Wh-What… I… what?!"

"Edward wants to have sex," Alice repeated.

"I heard you, just… I'm _gay_, remember? I'm not much help in that department." Bella pointed out. That wasn't the only reason, there was high possibility she'd be sick if they kept talking about that.

"I know, it's just, I can't talk to Rose since she practically despises him, I can't talk to Jasper because although he is bi he's still a guy and I definitely can't talk to my parents about this."

"And you thought I'd be any better?!"

"Well you're my best friend…" That got to her.

'Play the best friend card why don't you?' Bella thought. 'Very, very sneaky.'

"Fine I'll try to uh…" Her eye twitched. "…listen."

"Thank you Bella, it's just stressful. I mean, we're going to be seniors next school year and Edward has been patient and a complete gentleman, but I can tell that it's getting to him, you know? We've been with each other since the beginning of sophomore year-"A very painful time for Bella she might add "-, that's a long time to wait and I mean tomorrow's his birthday..."

"And you're going to wrap yourself with a bow?" Bella asked sarcastically, switching her tone immediately once she spotted her friend's hurt look. "Sorry, keep going."

"…Well, regardless of how much we don't want to think about it, we're going to be in college soon and I don't want to leave with any regrets."

'Too bad I'd be leaving with plenty.' Bella thought bitterly.

"Then I don't think you should… or at least not yet," Bella forced out the last part. Noting her friend's confusion; she continued. "If you're here asking me, that probably means that you're not ready. Your first time shouldn't be because you feel obligated, but because you want to."

"Thanks Bella, this really means a lot to me," Alice smiled softly before playfully adding. "And if you say anything similar to that last part again, I'm pretty sure you'll win over whoever you're looking for."

'If only.'

6:14 PM

"Hey Bella-"

Bella hardly paid notice to her parents when they greeted her from the kitchen as she raced up to her bedroom and collapsed on the bed, not even bothering to shut her bedroom door all the way. She felt nauseous. Why had Alice told her that? She could've have lived through her whole life knowing Alice was in love with Edward if their sex life hadn't been brought into the equation. Of course she had thought about it, usually in nightmares, but at that moment it all seemed too real.

Heavy panting from the side brought her out her stupor and she turned just in time for Appa to lick her face. He whimpered slightly before nudging her cheek with his wet nose.

"Hey boy." She said softly, the hint of a smile on her face. Appa always seemed to be aware of when she was having a bad day, maybe because she had so many.

She scooted back on the bed to give the dog space before patting it as an indication for Appa to hop up. He did with ease, curling up into a comfortable ball with his head resting on the pillow beside Bella's.

That was one thing she loved about the dog, he seemed much more understanding than most humans she knew. The day she had found Appa was two years back during the time her and Jasper were coming out of a bookstore in town and noticed movement in a box.

_**[Flashback] **_

_"You see that?" Bella questioned. _

_ "Yeah I think so." Jasper confirmed, taking a step forward. After he took another Bella caught up to him and they soon reached the object, only to find a puppy inside, curled up into a ball shivering. The puppy had only raised its head, its tail wagging limply and her heart broke at the sight. At that moment their bond had been created. _

_ "Why are you all alone?" Bella wondered aloud, handing Jasper the bags before leaning down to pick up the lone k9. As she cradled it to her chest, she could feel the wag of its tail increase as she began to pet it. "Will Jasper let me take you home with us?" she cooed. _

_ "You can, but you know my dad's allergic to dogs, which also means he can't touch me." Jasper told her, leading the two toward his car. _

_ "How do you know it's a he- that's creepy Jasper! You shouldn't look at a dog's business." She scolded her friend. _

_ "That's what everyone always looks at when they see a new dog. It's not like he minds anyways," Jasper shrugged, not turning back as he responded. _

_ "Whatever it's still creepy," she muttered. _

_**[End of Flashback]**_

Bella chuckled at the end of the memory. She remembered reminding Jasper of that moment every chance she got. Appa's eyes shifted to her as his tail thumped meekly against the bed.

She also remembered the day she brought him home. She had been a bit fearful of what her mother would say, but the puppy seemed to win her over with a few simple licks and not to mention the fact that puppy dog eyes were his natural born gift. When Bree spotted him, she called him Appa. It took Bella a while to understand the reference, but when she did, she praised the little girl for being so clever. Since Bella had taken up a summer job and shoveling driveways in the winter, she assured everyone that she'd buy the dog food. She also took the job of housetraining Appa, which had taken two months of frustration and dedication to accomplish.

"We've come a long way, haven't we Appa?" Bella asked, placing a kiss on the dog's nose. What she didn't expect was for him to sneeze right in her face afterward. The moment prior had definitely raised her spirits, but that didn't make the current moment any less disgusting.


	6. Mr Brightside

**Song used for this chapter: Mr. Brightside by The Killers**

**Edit: Apparently I put up the wrong version.**

* * *

><p><span>June 20th, 2012 (The Next Day): Edward's Birthday<span>

8:39 PM

Alice stared across the room at Bella and Leah who were speaking casually, laughing every now and then as they poured contents into bowls. The two had grown rather close since that day they had all gone cliff diving. _Really_ close, but Bella never mentioned much about the girl, which only left Alice to wonder and assume. Were they dating? Were they just friends? She had absolutely _no clue_, which added more fuel to her frustration.

Bella never talked much about her love life. Of course the brunette was allowed to have secrets, but the way Rosalie and Jasper acted towards it as well made her feel as if she were being left out of some big secret.

_**[Flashback]**_

"_We should set Bella up with someone." Rosalie and Jasper shared a look. They were all lounging leisurely in Jasper's living room. Bella was away for spring break visiting Phil's family and Edward was out playing football._

_Rosalie and Jasper shared a look._

_"What was that look for?" _

"_Nothing." They both replied simultaneously. _

"_It wasn't 'nothing', you guys always do that when I talk about Bella's love life. Do you guys know something I don't?"_

_ "Of course not." Rosalie smirked knowingly and Jasper nudged her to keep quiet. _

_ "Yes you do! What is it? Is she confused? Does she have some sort of freaky fetish-"_

_ "God no, Bella just has her eyes set on the unattainable." Rosalie revealed. _

_ "And what's so unattainable?" Alice perked up. Maybe it was the answer to her friend's solitude. _

_ "Nope." Rosalie waved a finger. "That is something I cannot answer." _

_ Eventually Alice resigned with her attempts to question the blondes. She'd find out her answers eventually. _

_**[End of flashback]**_

And as Alice focused solely on Leah, she wondered if the girl had what Bella had been looking for. She had no clue about the feelings that ran through her at the thought, so she labeled it as simply being overly protective of her best friend.

9:31 PM

The house had filled quickly as the time grew closer and closer to ten. Many had been shocked to see Bella in a dress and to be honest so had she. She had sworn that she'd only wear a dress to events that required it and if she were ever caught in one out of these terms, that meant hell had frozen over, but it hadn't.

And despite how much she hated to admit it, she loved her dress. It was an all black halter dress that showed a bit more cleavage than she'd like –not as bad as most but still– and a belt around her middle with a metal clasp. Alice and Rosalie had even cornered her once she arrived and forced her to sit still as they styled her hair in the upstairs bathroom. It was all definitely too much for someone who preferred to fly below the radar. And when she caught more than one boy ogling her body, she fought the urge to deliver them a fresh plate of knuckle sandwich.

At the moment they all surrounded the Edward who faced a cake shaped as the number eighteen.

"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Edward! Happy birthday to you!" Everyone sang off-key.

He leaned down to blow out his candles, grinning up at everyone once he finished. Earlier he had, had a small celebration with their parents, but it had been agreed upon, months prior, that he'd be able to host his first unsupervised party and this had been the party just about _everyone_ was looking forward to.

"And now that you're eighteen you can-"Ben pointed abruptly to Bella, hinting for her to fill in the blank.

"Vote?" She said as if it were a question, ducking her head when she acknowledged the amount of eyes on her.

"That's no fun." Ben pouted. "Alice redeem Bella of her lameness!"

"Join the military?" Alice seemed just as unsure of what exactly being eighteen meant for him. He'd still be in high school and under their parents' roof. So until they graduated nothing much would change.

"You both disgust me." Ben shook his head in mock disappointment.

"_Anyways_." Edward narrowed his eyes at Ben before turning back to everyone. "Who wants cake?"

Hands shot up like Fourth of July fireworks.

10:45

At the moment, Rosalie and Bella were dancing to the beat of the song. She had long since given up in refusing since the blonde was relentless when she wanted something, which happened to be getting Bella to dance. When the song changed, Rosalie's eyes lit up as they locked onto her friend's. Bella groaned; it was the song her blonde haired friend had discovered in the ninth grade and continuously played for months to bug her. Of course it had become a favorite of Bella's because one, it was catchy and two, it told her longing for Alice perfectly.

_ You are the girl that I've been dreaming of every since I was a little girl_

_ You are the girl that I've been dreaming of every since I was a little girl _

Her eyes locked on Edward's form across the room as he leaned down to kiss his girlfriend affectionately and she seemed to return it with as much compassion.

_One, I'm biting my tongue_

_Two, he's kissin' on you_

_Three, oh, why can't you see?_

_One! Two! Three! Four! _

Bella turned away from the sight. The good mood she had, had completely diminished, replaced with that dreadful feeling she was so used to.

_The word's on the streets and it's on the news_

_I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you. _

_He's got two left feet and he bites my moves. _

_I'm not gonna teach him how to dance, dance, dance, dance_

_The second I do, I know we're gonna be through_

_I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you_

_He doesn't suspect a thing I wish he'd get a clue_

_I'm not gonna teach him how to dance, dance, dance, dance_

Rosalie, noticing her friend's expression change, quickly tried to gather her attention.

"Up for a little drinking game?" Rosalie asked.

Bella nodded. She hoped she'd be drinking a lot.

[-]

"Alright imbeciles, I'm only telling you the instructions once, so listen up!" Rose demanded. "The game is called Hitman. One person will be the Hitman and asked to leave while I –being the mob boss– choose who I want to be taken out. When the Hitman returns, everyone will be doing the exact same thing that tends to be a habit of my target. The Hitman's job is to identify who everyone is copying and give them the kiss of death. If they're wrong, they'll be forced to drink and if they're right, the target drinks. Sound simple enough?" Collective nods were seen and Rosalie asked who wanted to go first.

"I do!" Edward said a bit too eagerly, his cheeks tinted slight red, indicating he already had more than a few drinks.

"Okay now get out." Rosalie commanded and that kicked puppy look came over Edward's face. "It's so I can choose the person, genius."

He faked understanding, though his brows were still furrowed as he left the room, heading into the den nearby.

"Shut the door." Rose yelled and within the next few seconds it shut.

"So…" Rosalie looked over her shoulder once more before leaning in. "I choose Alice."She stated plainly. She didn't want to cause any arguments because someone's feelings got hurt.

"What characteristic?" Angela asked.

"That really creepy smile she does." Rosalie said with a flippant wave, calling in Edward and cutting off Alice's rebuttal.

When Edward strolled back, everyone plastered on their attempt of Alice's Cheshire Cat smile on their face. Some were decent while others looked like their face was permanently stuck that way. Edward muttered something about the _Children of the Corn_.

Bella, who was too busy struggling not to laugh at the others didn't immediately notice Edward approach her and once she did it was already too late as he crouched down and smashed his lips against hers. He tasted like beer and barbeque chips and she quickly shoved him away when she felt his tongue probe her lips, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "What the hell?!"

"You're not the target?" He asked with faux innocence. Something about the glint in his eyes made her fully aware that he had just wanted to kiss her regardless of the game. It had just given him the opportunity to do so.

"No, it was Alice." She hissed, continuing to wipe her mouth feverously as if she'd get some sort of disease if she didn't.

She looked to Alice apologetically when the realization of what had happened hit. She would never kiss Edward, not even if they were the last people on Earth and she needed Alice to know that.

"Bella relax, he just made a mistake." Mike said and she glared at him. He was _smirking_, like it was all just _so_ amusing to him.

"No he didn't; Bella doesn't even smile so it was obviously it wasn't her." Tyler intercepted. That was his way of coming to Bella's defense though it could've been taken offensively.

"Whatever. Edward sit down before I have to castrate you on your birthday." Rosalie scowled at Edward for moment longer. If this were her house, she would've kicked him out. Birthday or not.

He only grinned at her before taking a large gulp of beer, his eyebrows furrowing when Rosalie smirked mischievously. She had thought of the best plan to get back at him. "Alright Alice get out, it's your turn."

[-]

When Alice reentered the room, everyone was pretending to bite their nails nervously.

"Wow this is a hard one." Alice stated sarcastically. A few chuckled while others just continued to pretend to bite their nails. The silence was really started to creep her out and she finally settled her eyes on Bella, the only one who seemed to look like she wasn't making a three course meal out of her fingers.

She didn't know why, but the thought of kissing Bella made her heart race and a subtle blush creep into her cheeks. Maybe it was the thought of kissing another girl or the fact that this was her best friend…

She searched the taller girl's eyes for permission and though Bella looked equally nervous, she managed to nod. With that, Alice began to make her way over to Bella.

"I guess I'll kiss you now." Alice stated the obvious, taking a seat beside Bella on the floor. She leaned in closer, their breath brushing the other's lips and Bella tried discretely to inhale.

This had been the moment Bella had dreamt about. Of course it had been a lot more romantic in her head and not as many people around, well no people actually, but she definitely wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to kiss Alice. This was probably the only time she'd ever get the chance to.

So she leaned even closer when the other girl didn't, ghosting her lips against Alice's, reveling in the soft warmth before pressing her lips firmly against hers, loving the way the molded against one another, moving in complete sync. She nearly jumped when she felt Alice's hand skim past her cheek to the back of her neck, pulling her even closer. She hadn't acknowledged that her touch was still experimental, not nearly as close as a regular kiss. Just as she moved her hand hesitantly over Alice's, which lied idly on the floor, Edward cleared his throat.

He frowned, shooting daggers at the brunette and she pulled away from his girlfriend. The two were lightly panting as they stared at one another and he didn't like it one bit.

"That was so hot." Mike said bluntly, ruining the mood and raising the tension all at the same time. Edward nearly growled at the boy.

"That's it! Get out of my house, Newton!"

"But-"

"Out!"

Mike Newton let out an undignified grunt as he got up and made his way for the door, Jessica Stanley soon taking after him. They couldn't hear the front door slam over the music and chatter since there were still people dancing, but they were all pretty sure the pair had left.

"Well that was... _interesting_." Jasper said and multiple people nodded, though some were agreeing about the kiss and others about Edward losing his temper like that.

Alice soon realized her hand was still tightly woven in the girl's hair and quickly pulled it away, saying a quick "sorry" when Bella winced at her hair being tugged.

"Babe, come sit with me." Edward called to Alice. Bella didn't like the way it sounded more like a demand than a request. It made her even angrier when Alice complied, leaving her only to gape as Alice made her way back over to her boyfriend and sat beside him. Right away he wrapped an arm around her waist, kissing her full on the lips and when Alice wasn't looking, he looked Bella square in the eye. It made Bella shiver with unexpressed rage. He basically had just done modern day marking of his possession and Alice was just his object.

11:54 PM

"Sure you don't want to catch a ride with us?"

"Yeah, see you later?" Bella asked Leah from the doorway and the girl nodded. Jake was leaning against his car, waiting for her.

She had grown to be pretty close to Leah over the past month, both of them having somewhat similar situations allowing them to console in one another. Bella, longing for the girl she could never have and Leah, longing for the boy she had once but lost. Though there were obvious differences, they both knew what it was like to want someone they couldn't have.

"Yeah." Leah leaned forward to give Bella a hug. When she had caught Alice glaring on more than one occasion, she decided to have a little fun messing with the girl and instigating any sort of physical contact she could with the brunette without being too obvious to Bella. She didn't like her; of course not, but jealousy seemed to make people brutally honest and with that kiss earlier, Leah was sure the raven-haired girl could use a little honesty.

Just like she expected, Alice was scowling in her direction. She smiled devilishly at Bella, letting her hands linger on the girl's waist and a mask of confusion took over Bella's face before Leah walked further out into the night and Bella began to trail her to ask what that was about until a hand caught her wrist.

"We're helping clean up, remember?" Rosalie reminded her. Her tone telling Bella that there'd be more talking than cleaning.

Edward suddenly had an idea; one that seemed even awful to himself, but would move him another step over his friend.

He turned to Alice, blocking her view of Bella. "Do you want to stay over? We could…" He trailed off suggestively. He said it loud enough for the other's to hear, but Alice seemed too busy battling between telling him she wasn't ready and agreeing so she wouldn't disappoint. In the moment, all of Bella's advice was discarded.

Bella's heart would repeatedly fall and shatter as it hit the ground. The first, cracking in two halves, the second into fourths and so on. She always managed to put the pieces back together every time, but at that moment, there might've been too many pieces. It was confirmed when she heard Alice's answer.

"O-Okay."

Glass shattering rung in her ears.

Such a simple word, yet it made Bella's world collapse

"I can't." Bella shook her head. Rose understood, clenching her fists at her sides as opposed to turning around and hurting Edward like he had hurt Bella.

"We'll drive you." Rose gestured for her brother to follow and by the way his jaw was locked and his mouth in a thin line, it was evident he was struggling to control his emotions as well.

12:57 AM

Bella laid in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling above. She felt numb. She couldn't even cry to relieve all of the emotions bottled up inside because it felt as if there were none, which seemed to hurt more. She wanted to hate Alice for doing this to her, but the girl wasn't at fault. It was her own for falling for someone she could never have. In times like those she wished she were straight. Then she could date and gush over a boy like Mike Newton –well maybe someone better–and her heart would never get broken because none of the guys in Forks were worth the time anyways. Not like Alice.

"I'm going to get over her." Bella vowed aloud. Appa peered over at her, over his shoulder since he lay on his side beside her. She wouldn't have doubted that he was questioning his companion's sanity.

Then she heard the door bell ring. She mildly hoped it was in her head since it was incredibly late and the only people that really rung your doorbell at nearly one in the morning wanted to kill you; though most axe murderers tended to just burst down doors. This made her slightly grateful that her possible murderer was kind of enough to at least leave the door on its hinges. But to make matters worse she was home alone, her family having left the early morning to go camping with a few family friends. Luckily, she had been able to stay home since it was Edward's party and now with the possible axe murderer, she was deeming more reasons on why staying home was a mistake.

The doorbell rung again and this time Appa hopped up and began barking, confused at his owner's lack of response. With a mixture between a grunt and a whimper Bella got out of bed, searching her closet for her old baseball bat before making her way out of her room and down the stairs. Appa trailed behind, though he tried to force his way past during their trip down the stairs.

"If you're going to try and kill me, know that I have a gun and a vicious Rottweiler!" Okay so maybe the gun was really a bat and her dog could hardly hurt a fly nonetheless a person, but she hoped the person on the opposite side of the door didn't know that.

When she pulled the door open, bat ready in hands she nearly dropped it at the sight before her. A disheveled Alice, still dressed up and her mascara running. She had been crying and though it was assumed impossible, Bella's heart managed to break even more.

"You were right, I wasn't ready." Alice sobbed and Bella immediately dropped the bat –scaring the hell out of Appa– pulling Alice into a tight embrace.

"Did he..." Bella gulped, unsure of what she'd do if the answer was yes. "Did he hurt you?" She finally asked.

"N-No, but I just couldn't…" Alice couldn't even find the strength to complete the sentence, her body too weak from crying and consumed with each tremble that vibrated through her body as a new sob broke out.

"It's okay Alice; we can talk about it later if you want alright? As long as he didn't hurt you, I won't rush you into telling me, okay?" Alice nodded. A small smile graced her face at her friend's kindness though it quickly vanished when she remembered why she was there in the first place.

"You can stay here for the night if you want." Though Alice showed no indication of being intoxicated, she was definitely in no condition to be confronted by an adult, which would probably happen if she took her home to her parents.

"Please." Alice affirmed. Bella took her hand, Appa leading the way upstairs and toward her bedroom, but Bella changed route and took Alice to the restroom first, shutting the door before Appa could join them.

Bella gestured for Alice to sit on the rim of the tub, searching her cabinet and before Alice could ask what she was looking for, Bella turned back around with a container of moist makeup removal towelettes. As Bella patted the makeup remover cloth over her mascara smears Alice couldn't help but notice how the girl seemed to do it all without a second thought as if it were required of her. It was something Alice admired about the girl, her extreme loyalty to her friends.

_Friend. _

The word seemed to echo in her head. Was it odd for her to want to be something more? Even though she had no clue what that 'more' was.

[-]

Bella had given Alice a pair of old shorts and a t-shirt that were the smallest she could find. Anything would've been too big though it definitely would have been cute to see Alice struggle keeping up a pair of her sweat pants.

Since Bella wasn't sure or not whether they would share the bed, Bella let Alice slide beneath the covers with Appa resting happily at the foot of it, but as she moved from the bed, Alice's hand caught her wrist, keeping her in place.

"Stay." Alice pleaded in a weak voice, looking up her as her eyes began to fill with that pain she had seen before.

"I will." Bella promised, nudging her softly with her knee in an indication to scoot over.

As soon as Bella was beneath the cover Alice broke down again, wrapping an arm around the brunette's middle and pressing her face into Bella's shoulders to muffle some of her cries.

For a while Bella just laid there, holding Alice as the girl cried into her shoulder. Even if those tears were for another person, she only held the girl tighter because she knew that if she didn't, no one else would.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I'm the kind of author that can't resist when someone asks for an update and since I finished chapter 8, I was even more motivated to let this one out early. I hope you all don't hate me for this. It's a step in the downfall of Edice or Adward or whatever the hell Edward and Alice's ship name is.<strong>


	7. Stay With Me

**A Head's Up: Some Alice/Edward further on (I know, I know but it's necessary), but won't be in _too _****much detail or go too far on the base scale.**

**Song used for title: Stay with me by Sam Smith**

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><p><span>June 21<span>st, 2012 (The Next Day) 

9:41 AM

Bella blinked.

Once, twice, three times.

She still couldn't wrap her head around last night. She hadn't even consumed much alcohol, which meant all the memories hit her at full force. The only good that really came of that night was kissing Alice, but even that was a sham. The most important moment in her life -yes best- had just been a game.

And now that girl was in her bed, arm still around Bella's waist and their legs entangled. Bella could feel her shorter friend's breathe against her neck, which was definitely causing her body to react and another sign for her to remove herself from the bed quickly. But as she tried to inch away from the other girl, Alice began to stir.

"…Bella?" Her voice was raspy from sleep and Bella bit her lip at the sound.

'_Focus Bella_.' She reminded herself.

"I was just getting out of bed." She whispered, hoping Alice would go back to sleep.

No such luck.

"Oh what time is it?" Alice asked, rolling over and into a sitting position.

She looked over at the alarm clock before replying. "Almost ten."

Alice didn't reply. Bella had reclosed her eyes, resting the back of her arm on her forehead. She was still exhausted, emotionally at least. Her body didn't seem to get the memo however making her incapable of even a few minutes more of sleep.

Alice enjoyed watching her friend in such a careless state. It was rare to see, especially as they grew older and she spent less time like this with Bella. She couldn't even remember the last time they had spent the night together, alone, without Rose. This hadn't been intentional, Edward just seemed to occupy a lot of her time.

She felt her heart clench at the thought of Edward. She wished that last night never happened. Meanwhile ,Bella had opened her eyes, watching as multiple expressions cross her friend's face. It hurt to see her friend hurting this badly and she desperately wanted to know what had occurred the previous night, though she wasn't too sure if she could refrain from killing Edward after. Perhaps it'd be justifiable if he had done anything bad enough. When he pulled the whole stunt with kissing her last night, it was pretty obvious that his douche levels had reached their maximum.

"Alice…you know you can talk to me right?" Bella sat up to join her. Appa watched the pair from the bed, thumping his tail limply against the comforter, but he didn't make a move to get up.

Alice nodded, pulling her knees to her chest as if they were her life line. Bella could tell something was holding her back, she just didn't know what.

"If you're worried about me taking sides, you don't have to worry okay? I'll always take yours." Bella admitted and Alice lifted her head to lock eyes with Bella. She didn't understand the undertone to Bella's words of course, but the warmth in her chest still spread nonetheless.

"Really?" Alice asked.

"Of course. If you haven't noticed, Edward isn't exactly my most favorite person in the world." Bella pointed out. Alice allowed a small smile to cross her features, resting her head sideways on her knees to look at Bella.

"Why is that? Even in the eighth grade you guys had a… _strained_ relationship." Alice struggled for the most polite way to describe the relationship between Bella and Edward. To put it bluntly, the two hated each other yet they tolerated one another's company. It made absolutely no sense why the two could hardly manage to stay cordial for more than five minutes.

"Let's just say we have a very _complicated_ friendship."

'_Actually it's pretty simple; I'm completely in love with you, but Doucheward keeps getting in the way_,' she added mentally

"Is that why he kissed you?" Alice asked quietly, focusing forward when she asked this. She couldn't get the image out of her head. The way Edward looked at Bella... it made her feel so insignificant.

"What? Ew. No… I am, in no way shape or form attracted to him and neither is he. Plus I'm a proud lesbian, remember? He's just always been an arrogant prick- I mean he's always been like this." Why would Alice think that? Edward was just being Edward. The kiss was probably just to piss her off. She wouldn't put it below him.

"You're right. I probably just sounded completely insecure, huh?" Alice wondered, reaching forward to stroke Appa's fur as a distraction.

"No you didn't. If my girlfriend kissed someone she completely hated, I'd be kind of confused about their reasoning too. But there's never been anything between Edward and I. Jasper yes, but that was during my I-can't-be-gay phase and we couldn't even kiss each other without almost puking." Bella pointed out, shuddering shivering at the mere memory of kissing Jasper, especially since he was bisexual and had an attraction toward girls as well. And though he had assured her that he wasn't attracted to her that way, it still made her want to scrub her lips with a soap and sponge.

"How come you never told me?" Alice inquired.

"What do you mean? I did tell you-"

"No, I mean as soon as you were confused. You could've talked to me. Why didn't you?" One of the many questions Alice wanted answered.

"I don't know… I was young- well younger than I am now at least and confused. I thought I'd freak you out by telling you I liked girls since you're a girl too." Bella shrugged. There was more to it, but that was the vague explanation.

"I would've accepted you! I consider you all my best friends and I've told you all everything. But there are cases like those where I feel so left out. Like none of you trust me. Like _you_ don't trust me." Alice brought her chin back to her knees, her stare burning into Bella's.

"What is this really about Alice? I mean I get where you're coming from, and we do trust you, but there's more of a reason to your frustration right?" This wasn't Alice, Bella knew that. She wouldn't yell at Bella for being too frightened to come out to her. Something else was on her mind. Bella just didn't know what.

"Y-Yes and no. I've always wondered these things, Bella. But when Edward was shouting at me I realized-"

"He shouted at you?" Bella exclaimed, completely outraged and the raise in her voice startled Appa with a jolt.

"Well, I did refuse to sleep with him without a valid reason, he had every right to be-"

"He had no right to yell at you. If you didn't want to, he should've respected that instead of yelling at you like you did something wrong-"

"It's more complicated than that, Bella." Alice said, cutting Bella off for once and sounding a bit more agitated since she had been cut off twice.

"Then please enlighten me, Alice, because I have absolutely no clue!" Bella was desperate as to what would compel her friend to defend a complete jackass like Edward. "Just please tell me what happened last night so I don't have to hunt him down and find out my way." She finished in a softer tone.

"Fine." Alice sighed. She really didn't want to.

_**[Flashback]**_

_Alice watched Bella hastily exit the house. She wondered why Bella look so furious yet sad at the same time, but realized she must've heard Edward._

_But why?_

_Maybe it was the conversation they had, had. Maybe Bella had expected more of her than to just cave into the pressure of Edward's words. But she was his girlfriend and most couples would've had sex by now. So why couldn't she will herself to do the same? That seemed to be the million dollar question. _

_And once she spotted Rosalie's glare from across the room and Jasper's gaze, she knew that they had heard her too, but they only looked angry and she didn't quite know why. That's when she noticed that they weren't looking at her, but Edward. When she looked back he was only looking down at her, revealing that crooked grin she always loved and would make her blush, but it didn't that time. In fact, it hadn't for a while. _

_Once the Hale twins were gone, Edward stepped forward and locked the door in one swift movement. When he turned back to face her, he was still grinning, as if his friends' glares hardly fazed him and maybe they hadn't. _

_Alice made a move toward the kitchen, which seemed the messiest, but an arm looped around her waist, stopping her from advancing forward. _

"_Let's go upstairs. We'll worry about cleaning later." Edward whispered in her ear. It made her shiver at the promises for later, but it wasn't out of excitement. Maybe dread would be more fitting though she'd never label it as that. _

_[-]_

_Alice was on her back, staring at the ceiling with one hand clenching the sheets and another woven in Edward's hair while he was on top of her. They were both fully clothed -thankfully-, but Edward's hand had found its way up her shirt as he roughly pawed at her chest, sucking at her neck as he did so, which she hoped wouldn't leave a hickey. _

_She wanted to feel excited. She wanted to enjoy this, but she couldn't bring herself to. Edward's movements were too stiff and kisses too rough. She wanted something softer yet passionate. She wanted him to slow down. To be like the first times she heard in stories. _

_Maybe Bella was right. _

_She knew that was the case when Edward tried to slip his hand beneath her bra. That's when she jerked upward into a sitting position, effectively removing Edward's hand and leaving Edward to look completely abashed. _

"_Babe, what's wrong?"_

_God, did she ever find that nickname as annoying as she had then? _

"_I-I don't want to do this." She confessed breathlessly, fixing her shirt and suddenly feeling as if she'd burst into tears any second. It all felt wrong somehow and she so felt unclean. _

"_Why not? You seemed to be enjoying yourself." Edward said a bit too smugly for Alice's liking. Why was he acting this way toward such a serious matter? _

"_**You **__were enjoying yourself." She pointed out. Immediately his smile dropped and she mentally winced. The male ego was so fragile. She had almost forgotten. _

"_It's not like you were much fun either." He shot back. "At least I was trying." _

"_I'm not saying you weren't, but maybe you could slow down. We only have our first time once, shouldn't it be special?"_

"_Really Alice? Do I have to light candles or something?"_

"_No, but you don't have to be an insensitive jerk either!"She was starting to get angry at how ignorant he was being. _

"_I'm insensitive?! We've been dating for almost two years Alice and not once have I pressured you into anything. Why did you agree if you weren't ready?" _

"...know_," Alice mumbled. _

"_What?" Edward demanded. _

"_I don't know!" She shouted at him, the tears finally beginning to fall. "Bella says we should wait until we're ready and unlike you, I actually want things to be perfect!__"_

_In hindsight, she should've seen that mentioning Bella was a really bad idea. _

"_Then why don't you go to Bella? Don't bother coming back until you actually do know!" He yelled right back, pointing towards the door. _

"_Edward I-"_

"_Go!" He stood from the bed, still pointing at the door. Alice choked back a sob before grabbing her clutch off of the dresser and rushing out of the bedroom and down the stairs. She didn't even pay mind to the fact that Edward had driven her there and she had absolutely no ride. Instead she walked out the front door and slammed it hard behind her, the tears falling rapidly as she walked further into the night. She could only think of one person to talk to about this. _

_Bella. _

_**[End of Flashback]**_

"He did what?" Bella roared, leaping off the bed. Appa hopped up on the bed as well, bounding around as if he had understood Alice's story as well. Bella walked over to her closet, yanking the first jacket her hand came in contact with off the hanger, which clattered to the floor loudly. She pulled it on, then roughly tugged her hair out from beneath the collar.

"Bella, where are you going?" Alice asked. She stood, watching as her friend got on her hands and knees to peer under the bed, mumbling something about being unable to find her shoes.

Bella lifted her head to respond to the girl. "I'm going to kill Edward." She stated in an unsettling serious tone.

"Okay let's calm down." Alice attempted to coax the girl to abandon her search and eventually she did, and was delighted when Bella allowed for her to steer them back into a sitting position on the bed. She hadn't been too sure if Bella was actually serious or not about killing Edward. Hopefully she was.

"How could he have said that to you? How could he have _done_ that?"Bella was furious. Alice didn't deserve anything less except to be treated like the princess she was.

"We were both angry and he didn't mean to-"

"Alice." Bella silenced her, clasping her hand in both of hers. "No one deserves to be treated like that _ever_, especially by their boyfriend."

"B-But it shouldn't have been so difficult. I should have…" Alice wasn't sure how to finish that sentence. What should she have done?

"Alice, remember what I told you before?" Alice shook her head. There was a lot she had said so she needed to be more specific. "_Your first time shouldn't be because you feel obligated, but because you want to. _So please promise me that you'll wait until you're sure and not rush into it? You were right in saying you only have your first time once. Why waste it if you're not ready?"

Alice could only stare in awe. Bella always seemed to know the right words to say.

**1:09 PM**

After their big talk, Alice had taken a shower and done other morning rituals while Bella walked and fed Appa, then went upstairs to do her own morning rituals before they headed downstairs to eat breakfast. Since Alice's night hadn't particularly been the best, she put a little effort into it, making some pancakes and eggs opposed to the bowls of cereal they usually ate. It was worth it when she saw Alice smile and kindly thank her before they dug in.

Once they had finished cleaning up, the pair found themselves sitting on the living room couch watching the rolling credits of _The Butterfly Effect_. It had been Bella's choice since Alice chose _Easy A_ earlier. The two were in the middle of a heated discussion about the ending.

"I'm just saying Bella; why keep walking? Both of their lives were perfect so why not try again, you know? He loved her enough to change the past constantly. Why not try to ensure it stayed perfect?" Alice pointed out.

"Because in other realities, she's always suffered some way and nothing went right. He didn't want her to endure pain anymore because she deserves more than that. He wants her to have a future that's bright instead of constantly cloudy. That's how he's showing his love the most by staying out of the way even though he wants to be with her." Bella countered. The last sentence dripping with the most passion because that's what she did constantly, even if it was her hand she wanted Alice to hold most instead of Edward's.

"But that's why they call it the leap of faith, Bella. You're supposed to take those risks, especially when you know how happy they could be with you." Alice wasn't exactly sure how this argument even started, well not even an argument really, maybe a _debate_ would be more fitting. She had just made a simple comment about how Evan should have caught up with Kayleigh and now here they were.

"Maybe, but love isn't always like that, Alice. Sometimes people don't always get a happy ending because fate has other plans."

"So we should let fate dominate our love life? No, if you want something or someone, you fight for them. You don't stand aside because of some complications. You find a way to overcome them. That's how you show someone you love them."

Bella was speechless. There was absolutely no way for her to respond to that because maybe it was true. Maybe she was a coward for just standing aside. Maybe she-

The door bell rung, startling the two of them.

Appa hopped up from his spot on the rug, barking loudly at Bella.

That's when Bella realized that the two of them had not only been facing each other, but had somehow drifted a bit closer during the debate. Bella's cheek flushed at the proximity and she quickly jumped over the back of the couch and towards the front door.

When she opened the door, she immediately moved to shut it when she spotted who it was.

"Hey!" Edward hissed, stopping the door with his hand and Bella had to relent or else she'd smash his fingers. Though she wasn't really opposed to it, but she didn't think her parents or Edward's dad would like that very much.

"What the hell do you want?" She said through clenched teeth, her fists clamping at her sides because she was fighting the urge to let them collide with the side of Edward's face.

"Alice is here, isn't she?" He smirked. "I went to her house, but she wasn't there so I knew she'd probably be here. And judging by how obvious you are, I'm ninety-nine point nine percent sure she is."

"You're right, she is. And you're not seeing her." Bella growled, moving to shut the door again, but Edward pushed harder against it.

"Why not? She's _my_ girlfriend after all." Edward snapped.

"Not for much longer." Bella jeered.

Edward's smirk soon turned into a snarl.

"Let me in you freaking dy-"

"Edward?" A voice chimed behind Bella. The brunette pushed the door painfully against the boy's hand before backing up and letting him come in. Edward didn't even respond to his girlfriend right away because he was in the middle of a very intense stare down with Bella.

"Edward?" Alice called again and Edward was forced to tear his eyes away from Bella.

"Hey Alice… listen I'm sorry about last night. I wasn't thinking and I didn't mean to say any of that. Can we maybe go talk about this somewhere more private?"Edward looked pointedly at Bella.

"She's not going anywhere with you-"

"Alright."

Bella looked to Alice in shock, then disappointment, and finally anger.

"After what he said to you?" Bella asked incredulously.

"We need to talk and figure things out." Alice alluded.

"Yeah Bella, we need to talk and figure things out." Though his tone wasn't the least bit taunting, the twinkle in his eye was.

Alice moved around the brunette towards Edward.

Bella didn't know what came over her, but she gripped Alice's wrist before she could follow Edward out the door.

"Don't go with him. Just stay here." She pleaded. Alice froze for a moment before slowly sliding her wrist from Bella's grasp.

"I have to." Alice may have not understood the impact of her words, but Bella did. Bella told Alice that she'd always take her side and now Alice was saying whose side she'd always choose.

So Bella shoved down her feelings for the umpteenth time and nodded.

Edward smirked when Alice wasn't looking and she watched with a sinking heart as they left.

3:11 PM

When the doorbell rung for the second time, Bella opened the door, expecting to see her family who'd be there any minute. Instead she saw Alice there, wearing that soft smile she always put on display as if nothing had happened.

When Alice made a move to come inside, Bella stopped her by leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed and an unreadable expression planted on her face.

"I can't come in?" she asked.

* * *

><p>"How did it go with Edward?" Bella asked flatly, ignoring her previous question.<p>

"It went alright. We talked and he apologized for his previous behavior…" Alice trailed, peering over Bella's shoulder to see Jasper and Rosalie on the couch watching the whole exchange.

Bella nodded in faux understanding.

"So may I come in?" Alice asked again.

"No, my parents are going to be home soon and I'm not really in the mood for company." Bella shrugged.

"But Jasper and Rose are-"

"We already made plans a while ago." Bella cut her off.

"Are you mad at me?" Alice wondered. She had no idea why the girl was acting so cold towards her.

"Of course not."

"Then why can't I come in?" Alice questioned, feeling a bit hurt.

"Because-"

Both of their heads turned to see SUV pull into the driveway. The continued to watch as they made their way towards the door and Bella moved aside to let them enter.

"Is everything alright?" Renee asked, looking between the two as she entered last.

"Everything's fine," Bella responded monotonously then proceeded to shut the door in Alice's face.

"Bella!" Renee scolded her, moving to open the door, but when she did Alice was already walking away, not even turning when she heard the sound of the door open or Renee's calls. Eventually Bella's mother gave up and turned to her daughter in disbelief. "What could have possessed you to do that?!"

Bella jerked her shoulder up in a half shrug. "She made her choice and I made mine."

She walked away from her mother then and moved to sit on the couch with Rosalie and Jasper who both looked to her sympathetically and Renee realized it was something more complicated than she had thought.

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><p><strong>AN: So yeah, there you go. For all of my readers, never date anyone who will treat you like Edward did to Alice and if you do, don't forgive them. You all deserve to be treasured. On another note, Beauty and the Freak's fourteenth chapter <em>might <em>be up this weekend. **


	8. Not In That Way

**Song used in this chapter: Not In That Way by Sam Smith. (I have a special request that you all listen to this song after the chapter. It'll tug at your heart strings.)**

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><p><span>June 22<span>nd, 2012: The Next Day

12:31 PM

"Bella."

The brunette feigned obliviousness, bobbing her head to the blasting music sounding from her earphones while she scribbled in her journal at her desk.

With a pestered look, Renee leaned forward and snatched out one of the buds.

What would have been a glare immediately evolved into something akin to a puppy's expression when they knew they were about to get in trouble.

"Would you like to tell me what's gotten into you?' Renee's tone suggested Bella had no choice and yet, the young woman pretended as if she did.

"No. Not really." She muttered, grabbing for her headphone, only for her mother's smoldering gaze to stop her mid-action.

"I will not ask again."

If Bella had any hope of seeing the light of the next day, she'd do as told. So she nodded in a show of cooperation.

"I know what I did wasn't right." Bella admitted. "I take full responsibility for that and I know she probably hates me now, but I just don't think I can handle it all anymore. I just- I can't see him hurt her anymore and watch her just go back to him, like she doesn't even care about herself anymore. Eve taught her better than to let some guy trample over her. So why does she let him?"

Renee sighed pitifully. Just as she predicted, it was something far bigger than she had originally assumed.

"Eve tries, Bella, but Alice believes she can change Edward-"Bella snorted. "-and that he just needs someone to care because we all know his father won't, but we both agree she's too invested in him. The thing is, if Eve tried expressing this, that'd just make Alice more adamant about seeing them and Eve wouldn't be able to monitor them as closely as she tries."

Bella wants to say that Eve should find a way; that Eve can somehow convince Alice, but Bella knew better. Alice was far, far too stubborn for that.

"I wish she could see, Mom. So that she could see how much more she deserves than what he does for her. I could-"

Bella took a deep breath to calm her warring emotions.

Renee rested her hand on her daughter's shoulder, giving a comforting squeeze.

"I know it hurts, Bella, but you can't be angry at her for this. She's young, so are you. Mistakes are bound to be made and you can't hold them against her, especially because of your feeling."

Bella looked absolutely horrified. "How did you kno-"

Renee silenced her with a knowing look.

"Right." Bella muttered.

Renee didn't miss a thing.

2:46 PM

Eve answered the door when Bella came knocking later that evening, staring down the young brunette in a way that made the teenager shift uncomfortably.

"Hi." Bella eventually said, giving a small wave.

Eve merely leaned against the door frame, crossing her arms.

"I should shut the door on you. Just to even out the playing fields, but I love you far too much to do that." Eve sighed as if it almost pained her.

"She's in her room. _Crying. _I had to get Renee to tell me what was wrong with her and Bella… I've always loved the way you've treated her, as if she still was your princess. I always knew I could trust you and to hear about this… It's something _the boy_ would do." And by boy, she meant Edward. "I'm going to let you upstairs to talk to her and hopefully you will work things out. If you upset her any further, you will be asked to leave."

Bella gulped at the ferocity in her eyes, nodding quickly.

With a satisfied look, Eve pushed off the frame and lead Bella inside. Together, the two made their way up spiral steps, only stopping once they were outside Alice's bedroom. Even from behind the door they could hear Alice's quiet sobs.

This was Bella's fault. She had done this. _How_ could she have done this?

Knocking quietly, Eve waited a few seconds before cracking open the door. In the limited space, Bella could see Alice was laying on her side with her back to them.

"Alice. Bella's here to talk to you. Do you want her to come in?"

It was silent for a long time until a small "yes" was heard from the raven-haired teen.

With that, Eve pulled the door open even wider and gestured for her to enter, but not before shooting her a warning look. Then, she shuts the door behind them.

Bella shuffled from one foot to the other, really wishing there was some sort of instruction manual on how to make your friend not hate you anymore.

Deciding she needed to do _something_, Bella crossed over to the bed, taking a seat on the edge.

"I'm sorry." The words cut through the silence, quieting Alice's sobs, which had already decreased in volume.

"I shouldn't have treated you like that, Alice. You of all people didn't deserve it. I was angry you left with Edward. After the way he treated you, I couldn't understand _why _you'd go back to him. I still don't. He didn't deserve it, but after the stunt I just pulled, I don't really deserve to talk to you either. I just wanted you to know I'm sorry and I'll leave now because I'm pretty sure you-"

Bella had just been about to rise from the bed when a hand settled over hers, causing her to glance up and see the bloodshot eyes of Alice staring into hers. Just the sight alone made her heart wrench with so much guilt.

"You always shut me out, Bella. This is just the first time you did it in the literal sense."

"Ever since we go older, it's like this wall grew between us, like we haven't known each other since we were in diapers. I don't know if it goes both ways anymore, but _I_ trust you more than anyone. Even when you sometimes ignore my calls or pretend you're sick just so we won't have to hang out. I think today though, I got your message loud and clear. If you don't want us to be friends anyway, I- I'll find a way to adjust. "

"_Ali_, I don't want us to stop being friends. The last thing I want to do is lose you. That's why I've put up with Edward, that's why I keep secrets, that's why I-"

"Bella, what would possibly make you lost me?" Alice sounded absolutely baffled and partly afraid, unsure if she even wanted to hear the answer.

Bella hesitated, mind racing a thousand miles per hour. She wanted to flee, to hide behind another poor excuse, but then she remembered what Alice had said yesterday. She needed to take fate in her hands and hope it didn't shatter. So many years she had hidden herself behind so many lies. She didn't want to lie anymore.

"Please don't hate me. I just- I- Alice, _I love you_."

[-]

Bella was sinking. She could feel a darkness grab hold of her heart and tug. She let it. She didn't want her heart anymore, not if it meant she wouldn't have to feel this anymore.

She stumbled down the staircase, past a concerned Eve and out the front door without a glance back. In the distance, she could hear Alice calling after her, but she didn't dare stop. She was on the verge of falling apart and she didn't want anyone to see it when she did.

_ Bella, I'm so sorry._

She squeezed her eyes shut as the first tears began to fall.

_Why didn't you ever tell me?_

A choked sob broke free from her chest, so powerful it _hurt. _She could feel a set of hands wrap around her, pulling her into their chest. Just by the presence alone, she knew it was Eve.

_I love you too. Just not like that._

She should've known. Why had she been so stupid?

In the back of her mind, she could feel herself being lead somewhere. She could feel a hand tug the keys from her coat pocket, could feel herself being placed in her car. Then the vehicle was moving and she realized that Eve was driving her home.

She wanted to beg Eve to stop, to just drop her on the side of some road. She couldn't go back home, not like this. She couldn't bear to let anyone know and Renee would certainly pry until she did.

But she didn't.

Instead, she cried.

For the entire ride home.

[-]

"What happened?" Renee demanded the very second Eve and Bella came through the door. Phil and Bree were on the couch, watching television. At least they had been until they saw Bella. Then everyone was forming a small circle around the sobbing teen.

"I don't know. I didn't have time to ask Alice because Bella was- I couldn't just let her leave like this." Eve's voice sounded worn as if she could _feel _the pain Bella was being tortured by

"Bella, baby, what happened?" Renee stood in front of her daughter, cupping her cheeks gently in her palms so she could get the teen to look at her -albeit with blurry vision-.

"I t-told her. I told her and she- she-" Bella began sobbing harder, breaking free from Eve to hold onto her mother.

Somehow, Renee understood and looked up at Eve with forming tears of her own. The woman didn't look to be in any better of a position.

Eve left not much later, knowing she needed to go back and console her daughter. It'd be difficult considering she had seen how broken Bella had been and knew now that her daughter was responsible for that. She could never blame Alice for this. You couldn't help who you fell in love with; Bella was a perfect example of that, but a part of her feared how this would affect the balance of, well, everything.

Meanwhile, Renee had moved Bella upstairs and helped her into a pair of pajamas. If not for her mother, the teen would've crawled into bed, shoes and all.

"Thank you." She croaked out, voice beyond strained from all the crying. Renee only responded by kissing her forehead before exiting the room.

Bree, who had been in the doorway, silently made her way over to Bella's bed and slipped beneath the covers.

Over the years, the two had formed a bond stronger than most blood siblings. They knew when it was time to talk and when it was time to just… be there.

And that's what Bree did.

June 26th, 2012

1:16 PM

Bella had stayed in bed for the next four days, only getting up to eat and shower when someone would tug her out of bed and force her.

She hadn't been ready to do anything, let alone go anywhere until that day. Mostly because she was scared she'd run into Alice and have the much needed talk she wasn't ready for mentally.

Somehow, Bree had finally managed to convince her to come along on a trip to the dog park with Appa.

The two had walked in a comfortable silence on the way over. With everything that had occurred over a short span of days, the younger girl knew her older sister needed some time in her own head, with someone close to pull her back if she fell into that state she had been in Sophomore years.

Those had been hard times indeed.

Once they were in the fenced confines of the dog park, Bree let Appa loose. The two sisters watched in amusement as he made a beeline for a fluffy white poodle. Always the poodles.

Finding the seat on top of the picnic table, Bree waited patiently for her sister to speak. Thankfully, she didn't have to wait very long.

"I think it's for the best that I stop being friends with Alice. At first, I used to think that I needed Alice in my life to be happy and now… I still do, but I know that I'll be so much unhappier seeing Edward hang all over her and knowing that I'll never have a chance. "

"I think it's for the best too, Bella. Mom's always worried. Rose and Jasper hate that there's nothing they can do and I have to admit, I feel the same way. I know there's no hope in convincing you Alice isn't worth the heartache and I won't give you the speech that there's other fish in the sea, but you can't keep living like this, you know? It's not healthy. This is your senior year and before you know it, it's going to slip through your fingers before you even have the chance to grasp that _this is your last year in Forks. _You shouldn't leave here with any regrets and I know you'll regret spending the whole year hung up on her."

Bree may've looked young for her age, but she had wisdom far beyond her years.

"So what should I do? I can't get over her, no matter how hard I try." Bella insisted.

"Have you ever considered maybe... finding someone else?" Bree queried.

Bella gave her a dry look, but Bree cut her off before she could say a word.

"_Bella_, you can't just completely dismiss that option. You may not think it's a possibility or that you can never fall for anyone as hard as Alice, but-"

"I don't want anyone else, Bree. I only want Alice, even after I lost her."

"Bella. You've _never _had her. At least with someone else, you'd have a chance."

Bree knew her words had struck a nerve, but she needed to get through Bella's thick skull.

"I know that." She spat out the words venomously. "And I also know I can't be with anyone else. It wouldn't be fair to them. I'd constantly be comparing them to Alice, never able to really love _them _because I'm still in love with someone else."

The sympathy in Bree's eyes was almost too much for Bella to bear. She leapt of the table, wrapping her arms around herself in an attempt to keep from falling apart completely. When Bree reached for her, she stepped away.

"Things will be okay, eventually. _I'll _be okay."

Bella hoped that if she said it enough, one day it'd be true.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And there it is. Honestly, it was not supposed to turn out like this, but last night I was listening to this song and I thought "I need to make Bella confess and get her heart broken", so I went with that. Aside from comments about how much you all hate me for this, I'd really like to hear what you guys think. This is the first time I've written about someone being rejected. <strong>


	9. You Could Be Happy

**Song used for this chapter: You could be happy by Snow Patrol**

* * *

><p><strong>(Second person from Alice's point of view)<strong>

July 22nd, 2012

2:46 PM

You can't say you never had any _suspicions_.

There were cases when you'd notice her eyes linger, they way she'd freeze when you got a little too close or the way she'd spoil you in a way he never attempted to.

But you never read into them because this was Bella and if she had felt something for you, she wouldn't have waited seventeen years to tell you. At the same time, you acknowledged this was Bella and waiting seventeen years to admit her feelings is _exactly _what she would've done.

And yet, you were still shocked when she blurted her confession, giving herself to you in a way you were not prepared for and you knew you failed her the instant you answered.

Your tongue moved without your permission, allowing words to tumble out before you could properly grip them and you had to watch in agony as Bella's heart broke right before your eyes.

There was nothing else you could have said, or at least that's what you told yourself, but that didn't make you feel any better.

You tried to take it back, to apologize, but Bella had already been fleeing from the room, from_ you. _

That may have been the most painful part of it all. Bella never ran. She may've been a Swan, but she had the mindset of a bull. It was one of her most admirable qualities and yet she ran, as if her feet couldn't carry her fast enough out of the room.

You had prepared to give chase, but one bewildered look from your mother at the bottom of the staircase stopped you. You couldn't bear to explain to her what had just transpired. You had a feeling Bella wouldn't have liked it very much. So you kept your mouth shut, the secret meant to be your burden and yours only.

July 23rd, 2012

11:23 AM

You later found out from your mother that Bella had told.

Or rather, blurted it to her mother and everyone else within earshot heard in result.

The way your mother looked at you when she told you this… it made you feel even guiltier than you already did. She wasn't blaming you, but you could see how torn she was. Sides would have to be taken –they always were in situations like this– and Eve would choose you, even if Bella was just as much of a daughter to her as you. And you _hated _yourself for it.

[-]

Edward came around later that afternoon, reeking of smugness before he even walked in the door. Somehow, he –and you can't imagine how– knew.

It's all he talked about for the first hour you're together; suppressing smirks in a way that madeyou want to punch him square in the face.

"What did you say to her?" He inquired, oblivious to your agitation. You shouldn't have said anything, but being you, you indulged him.

"I told her I loved her-" You watched the amusement slip away. "-but not in that way." Then, of course, it returned at full force.

You wanted to yell at him for finding humor in Bella's pain, but you didn't have the strength to. You were both physically and emotionally drained, not to mention, your birthday was coming soon and you weren't at all excited for it anymore because most likely, your best friend/partner-in-crime would be revoking her RSVP.

And Edward, being him, doesn't pick up on it. Instead, he kept talking about it with the enthusiasm of a child on Christmas morning. It's no surprise when you snapped.

"Edward! Seriously, I wouldn't have let you in if I knew this was all you were going to talk about. It isn't funny. Bella's hurt. I'm hurt and the last I want to hear is you joking like I didn't just possibly lose my best friend. So if you have nothing positive to say, leave because I can't handle-" Your voice cracks at the end and you didn't even attempt to finish. It all hurt too much and you were too exhausted.

And Edward's smile finally dropped away.

"Alice..." He reached out to touch you, but you shied away from his touch.

You didn't need this right now; didn't want his false assurances and crooked grin. You needed Bella.

"Look, I'm sorry alright. I didn't know you felt like that. I- You know how dense I can be sometimes or else I would've realized how much this way affecting you."

You allowed yourself to pretend that's the reason. On one hand, you get it. Edward's father wasn't one for emotions or much of being a parental figure, lacking all of the qualities Edward said his mother had, before she passed away, of course. You tried to reason that was why he was the way he was. But lately, it felt more like an excuse than a valid reason.

"I just miss her. She's my best friend."

You watched closely as his lips pressed into a thin line and he nodded in faux understanding. You're pretty sure that he knew that _you _knew he didn't care, at least not in the way you wished for him to. You also watched the way his eyes began to shift, the way they always did when he was thinking too hard about something. When he finally spoke, you understood.

"Then you should go talk to her. I doubt it'd take much for her to forgive you and that's insinuating she's even mad at you…"

It was the best advice he had ever given you and the first time he had ever offered something that was in Bella's favor, but you didn't question it. You had a feeling you wouldn't get a straight answer and if you did –which was highly unlikely–, it wouldn't be one you liked.

4:27 PM

You knocked on the door, the movement covering the trembling of your hand. You were nervous and had no idea why. Well, you did, but didn't think it'd make you so nervous to the point where your hand _shook. _

Then you waited.

And waited.

You could tell someone was on the opposite side of the door. You couldn't explain it, but there was definitely someone looking at you through the peephole. Then you heard a sigh, loud enough to travel through the wood.

The door opened seconds later and Bree stood in the doorway, hand on her hip, with a tired expression.

"She doesn't want to see you." There was no venom in her words, but you still flinched from its sting. You knew Bella didn't want to see you. Some point along the avoidance of calls, texts and yes– emails, you got the hint that the other brunette did not want to see you. Still, you were persistent.

"I know, but I want- _need _to see her. I need to make things right."

"Alice…" Bree sighed like she was speaking to an uncooperative child. "She confessed her feelings to you and you rejected her. Don't you think she needs a little time?"

When you couldn't form a response, the younger girl persisted.

"Here's the thing. Mom doesn't want you seeing her. It's not because she's mad, but she's worried about Bella getting… bad again. But if you promise to be _tactful_, I'll let you inside. You'd only have like twenty minutes though since Mom went to the store and she'll be back pretty soon."

That's all you need.

[-]

"Bella?" You hit your knuckles against the bedroom door, gently pushing it open to see the brunette sitting on the middle of her bed, eyes already focused on her as if she were waiting. Had she heard the conversation from up there?

You take in the sight of Bella; nose red, eyes puffy, hair an untamable mess. Yet, she somehow manages to look absolutely beautiful. It really wasn't fair in your opinion.

"Hi."

It's awkward and followed by a wave to make it even worse, but you don't know what else to say to her and _hurts _because Bella is the only person you've felt you can be yourself around without fear of judgment or penalty.

Now all of that was being challenged.

You're not surprised when she doesn't respond either, blinking so often you're able to tell she was trying to fight back tears.

You had done this to her and you didn't have the slightest idea on how to make things right.

"Can we talk?"

The look she gives you signified she knew she didn't have a choice.

And she didn't.

So, with a few steps, you had crossed over to her desk and angled the chair in front of it towards her before taking your seat.

"Since it's pretty obvious you don't want to talk to me- and I get it, there's a lot I have to say and I just hope you'd at least listen." You said with a weak smile, and then continued forward. "I'm so sorry that I never realized. I look back at everything and I just- I hate myself for putting you through what must have felt like agony. And I know that saying I'm sorry won't make the pain stop, but I need you to know I didn't want to hurt you. You're my best friend and you always will be and there isn't a day that I'd dream of hurting you. We can move past this, I could-"

"How can we move past this?" Her voice was raspy, most likely from crying for God knows how long.

You paused; unsure if there was even a way.

"I don't know, but we'll find a way. We always do."

You just really hoped that was true.

10:49 PM

You lied wide awake at night, staring up at the ceiling as if it held all of the world's answers. A part of you thought that if you stared long enough, things would start to make sense.

Like why you hadn't noticed Bella's feelings, why you wouldn't pick up Edward's calls or why... you kept thinking about Bella's confession and if you had actually returned those feelings.

How differently would things have gone?

You imagined Bella's body would've relaxed in that way it always did when she was relieved. She probably would've given you that dopey grin too. The one you loved.

Then she would've hugged you or maybe even kissed you. Bella's always had a tendency to become uncharacteristically touchy feely when she was excited about something.

You told yourself these thoughts were merely formed from curiosity, that anyone would've had the same thoughts.

Rolling onto your side, you closed your eyes and fell into darkness's embrace.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong>

**There's a look into Alice's mind. I thought that'd be nice for everyone to see and maybe understand her thought process a little better. **

**In other news, thank you all for being patient and I'm really sorry for the wait. Last month was completely awful. Long story short, I had a crush on a girl and in the process, got crushed and had to watch her cuddle with her cheating boyfriend for two hours. So yeah, I'm kind of heart broken right now and it's making writing this especially painful. I'm going to keep trying though because I need to at least finish one story. **


	10. Not Update

I made the mistake of thinking things would remain peaceful for me. In the last few weeks, I've been assaulted on the bus; threatened, asked loudly if I'm a 'boy or girl', and then rudely asked about my private parts (the word makes me squeamish, sorry). Then, I made another mistake and got so shit-faced I puked everywhere. So, with that being said, this story will no longer be updated regularly. It'll be updated when I am able to find time and the stress has lifted some. That may not be for a while, but know both stories' next chapters are under way and I _hope _to be finished by the end of the month. I wish you all the best. You've all been wonderfully supportive and I couldn't ask for more.

-Sincerely,

JS


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